On Growth, Change, and Rebirth

A few months before I turned 30 my life changed. I thought I had a firm grasp on what mattered to me and how I would go about doing what I loved. That wasn’t exactly how things turned out. 

windy roadsIt’s been over three years since then and I’ve experienced such rapid personal growth that it’s hurt. It’s terrifying to wake up one morning and realize that the person you thought you were was no longer there, nor was the world you thought you understood. You’d think with all of the stories I’ve read–and written–about people discovering new powers, or learning to see their reality in a different light would have prepared me. It didn’t.

Harder still was explaining this change to my wife. Some couples don’t survive when their partners have a breakthrough like the one I had. It makes you a different person, and sometimes that isn’t a person your partner wants to be with anymore. The adhesive that kept you together starts to lose its bond and the relationship goes to shit. I feared that would happen to us. I was so afraid that I would lose her that I didn’t tell her what was going on with me until I couldn’t hide it any longer.

In retrospect, that was a mistake. I should have opened a dialogue as soon as it hit me, but I’m not the yellowest banana in the bunch some times. What I gained from this experience was there is a beauty in change. There is also compromise, or as Hopper from Stranger Things says, “halfway happy.” I learned that my wife was a much stronger person than I am. She didn’t know what to do, but that didn’t stop her from figuring out how to help. You read about unconditional love, you may even strive for that level of perfection, but let me tell you it’s rare. Too much personal entanglement blinds you to what matters. It didn’t blind her and we worked through it.

dark-night-person-32237I’m not the person I used to be when I started this website many years ago. I’m also not the same author. As such, I’ve gotten rid of the old to focus on the new. If you’ve followed me from the start and this new style doesn’t jive with you, I understand. There are no hard feelings and I hate to see you go. For the rest of you, thanks for sticking by me and let’s see how things turn out together.

Welcome back my readers! I’ve missed you all.

Copyright © R.T. Meeks 2018


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